ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They took my balls.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
