I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
