We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
