I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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