weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
