she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
