Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
