I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
