then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
