He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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