He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
