i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
