we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
