I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
