I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize