ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
