Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
