who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
