She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
