Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
