Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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