Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
