Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
