when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
