Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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