Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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