You're completely useless in the revolution.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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