after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
