I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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