It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
