new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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