Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
