My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
