Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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