I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
