i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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