dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
