So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
