dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
two words...techno handjob
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
