You're so nebulous sometimes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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