dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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