how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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