I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
