Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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