I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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