Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
