I got chris browned last night
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
