how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
