i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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