Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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