So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
