wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize