They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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