I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I love you.
Bad choice
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
