Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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