We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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