I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The Olympian is in my bed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
