you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
