I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize