hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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