He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
