Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
