im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
