Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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