I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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