you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
