Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
