i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
