I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I need to calm my uterus...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
