Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
