did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
