please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The air taste purple.
Randomize