white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
