I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
